I wrote this post on Monday but C had a hard time napping so I wasn’t able to edit and publish it. Here ya go, 2 days later 🙂
C fell asleep for his nap almost an hour ago and I’ve since then done laundry, made and consumed lunch, and caught up (somewhat) on the Internet. Lunch time is ME time 😉
Over the weekend I went to with my mom and sisters on our yearly trip down to New Harmony, Indiana. This was our 10-15th year in a row going (don’t know exactly how long it’s been!) minus last year. Yep, last year I had an almost 1 month old and my sister Leah had and almost 2 month old. We decided skipping the annual trip would be best for everyone’s sanity!
So this year I had a baby to miss when I left. Yep, I finally got a weekend away and missed my kid. Not a ton but not a little bit either! And though I tried not to annoy everyone too much, I know I said “I miss C!” at least 7 times. At least.
We left Saturday morning and got back Sunday night, after C was sleeping. It was lovely to see my hubby again and wake up my warm and squishy baby for a nursing. Ah, sigh, I love my kid. And the clean house J had waiting for me! And it was nice seeing my wonderful husband again too 🙂
But yeah, I left my kid for the first time. And I was okay with it. Since C still breastfeeds, I was very grateful my boobs were okay with the absence also (just in case you were wondering!). The break was nice, something I think I needed.
Lately I’ve found 75% of the thoughts in my head revolving around my son. Such is the life of a stay at home mom I suppose. I work all day for my kid, see him all evening, and help him fall back to sleep all night. He surrounds me 24 hours a day, usually every day of the week! I love my job and my kid and my life but when I start thinking about C sooooo much, I figure I really need a break. As in longer than a few hours kinda break. I’d like to maintain some sort of distance between him and I, if that makes any sense. My child is the most important thing in my life but I don’t want him to BECOME my life. I still need to be ME. I want C to grow up with a mom that enjoys an enriching life in addition to completely loving her child. That’s a tough balance, especially right now since C is a danger hungry toddler. I’m his shadow most of the time he’s awake. 🙂
I’ll be going to a friend’s wedding in about 2 weeks, leaving C again but for 2 1/2 days this time. I really excited about this trip since I’ll get to hang out with 3 amazing friends but dang, I’ll miss my cuddly happy boy. Hopefully no one will hate my occasional “Oh, I miss my baby!”.
And you know what? It’s so awesome having such an wonderful spouse who can totally take over when I’m gone.