>In my kitchen right now there’s a spider dead on a sticky mouse trap. And this spider is probably THE LARGEST SPIDER EVER KNOWN TO HAVE LIVED IN A HOUSE. I think. The light was kinda dim and I really didn’t want to see it closely. Thus I just assumed it was horrifically big, nearly the size of a mouse (but not really).

So sorry insect world, out comes the diatomaceous earth. And sorry spiders. I know I was going to let you control the insect population in my house but you are too big and hairy for my mind to deal with. Plus what have you done about the ants? I understand you are also scared of the wasps with their pulsing stinger behinds, but the ants? You can’t gobble them up?

Sob. I want to NOT feel creeped out in my house. Sigh.

Yeah, I know, cry me a river. Unsubscribe from me if my whining gets too loud.