I’m posting while my kids play outside so lets see how long this moment lasts. And this post is not about my kids (which is what this blog has become, a journal of sorts to record the growth and education of my boys).

On Friday I was awarded an unexpected free half hour. (quiet tapping on the door from a little boy delivering a bell pepper and 2 cherry tomatoes)

Anyway, the kids were happily playing Friday and the house was reasonably in order, dinner was figured out, and DAMN. What do I do with this precious time?!?! NO ONE NEEDS ME!!!! I sent an email. I read a little. I looked at my agenda. I stared at my house and again agreed (with myself) that it was clean enough and I was tired of cleaning it. So. Um. Yeah? Read some more? It just seemed so indulgent. Shouldn’t I do something WORTHWHILE?

So I’m a teacher. I love teaching and find it very fulfilling, challenging, rewarding, and all that good stuff. For the next ? years I’ll be homeschooling my kids and that takes planning, research, and time. But it’s (4 yo knocking on garage door to tell me his paintbrush is high up on the trash can).

Um. Yeah, it’s something? Oh yeah, we’re doing child led homeschooling which basically means my kids (at this point) decide what they want to learn and I (the mentor/guide on the side) help them deepen that and provide them with resources and such. Of course some days I need to drink a lot of coffee to fulfill this education goal and some days I’d rather not have anything to do with the mentoring/guiding part of homeschooling. Like today. I’m tired. And obviously rambling.

Anyway- What is it that I want to do? Or be? I know right now exactly what my kids want to pursue and learn more about. I have the information written over the last few months, recorded, and filed. They are the easy peasy ones, these kids who LOVE everything about life (except sitting still). I know what subjects interest me: women’s rights, race, gender, and class issues, literature, education, child development, Coffee. All of that but MOSTLY Coffee.

And HOW do I take all of that and, with the help of Coffee, turn it into something personally fulfilling? And WHAT do I want to turn it into? (4 yo needs to tell me his cousin knows how to kill wasps, 1 yo somberly tells me a bee stung him. He’s actually perfectly fine).

I guess I’ll just keep reading for now. Maybe that will be my current goal. Reading, voting on November 4, drinking Coffee, waking an hour before the boys wake, and journaling. But reading, yes, reading. Which reminds me I have a couple of books on hold at the library that I need to go pick up today. Or tomorrow?

So yes, my goal in life is to read. Maybe I’ll start writing very brief summaries of the books I read/attempt to read and post them here. That would be a start, a place for me to remember and somehow gather the fragments of my mind. (1 yo wants me to “come too!” and rake a pile of leaves.)

Thanks Blog, for helping me start a path, one that I’ve actually already been on but HEY! Now I’ve written it down. And that means something to me!

And Thanks Coffee, for being my best drinkable buddy. (1 yo wants me to “fick dis”, fix this broken hat of his).